I'd Prefer Not

Now that I am over forty and a single father, I have been thinking about my next relationship. Or my lack of interest in such a thing.

America is very big on couples culture. For many people, their love relationship is the relationship, so much so that they get a large part of their identity from the relationship. But what if you choose to go without? What if you dig living by yourself, coming home to an empty house, staying up late and then bedding down all by yourself?

Don't get me wrong. An occasional friendly shag with a pretty lady, sounds good. But a bona fide monogamous domestic set-up, thank you no.

Does this make me a misogynist because implicit to this argument is the implied suggestion that woman are great to have around as long as they're busy on their back. But once their mouths start running with relationship talk or shopping exploits, exit stage right. The thing is that now, thanks to wisdom and a controllable libido, it is possible to politely excuse yourself from courting situations where you know you'll probably score but frankly you'd prefer to be home watching the US Open. Alone.

The Meaning Of No Meaning

It's the day after the Virginia Tech massacre and every talking head on the telly is asking the same two questions: Why did Cho do what he did and what does it mean?

The first question is pretty easy to answer: He was enraged at life, at the world, and his predicament in it. He wanted out and he wasn't going alone.

The second question is also pretty easy: There is no meaning.

Coming to terms with that answer is the hard part. If the killing had no meaning, no higher purpose, if the victims, young and beautiful and ambitious, weren't "fated" to die by a loving God who wanted them "to come home because it was their time," then their deaths were a horrible waste plain and simple. This conclusion, for so many people, is unacceptable. The absurdity of existence is a mountain too cruel to climb.

Yet if we face the music that life is random and that God will not intervene in human affairs, perhaps we can begin to take more responsibility for our actions here on earth. Health care, global warming, alternative energy are issues that demand realistic understanding of our human condition.

And gun control isn't the limiting of an individual freedom. It's a community project that recognizes that life is difficult and that people need people to thrive. Gun mania is symptomatic of toxic individualism energized by paranoia, alienation and existential dread.

Whither the future for America's youth? They will be watched every more closely and policed ever more strictly as they stay at home safely in front of the computer.

I am glad my boy is going to grow up in Canada where the social safety net still exists both as ideal of community and a reality of practice.

Dark Horse

First the press dropped the ball on Bush's absolute unsuitability for the White House while trashing Gore, who is now enjoying the fruits of a well-managed comeback.

Then they bollixed the Iraq War by not asking the questions they should have simply because they didn't want to upset the American public still reeling from the 9/11 fearmongering of Bush and his chickenhawks.

Now we get play by play of the Obama and Hillary slugfest for the next two years!!! Oy vey. Enough already. I don't fancy either one of them and John Edwards isn't much better although he's at least put forward a health care plan.

What the devil? How about Bill Richardson? Great resume, including a second term as the governor of New Mexico, arguably one of the most challenging states in the union to govern. When you really think about it, Obama and Hillary seem like antiques, each representing old factions of the Civil Rights Era. Hispanics are the new and powerful minority in America. But Richardson refuses to blatantly play that facile card.

Bill Richardson is perfect for the White House - reasonable, experienced and above all, competent. He's all the things the current resident is not.

I sincerely hope that Richardson hangs on as the bench dwindles. Eventually there will only be three or four left. If there's any justice, Richardson will be in the thick of it come February of next year and the American public will get a good look at a good man who could be a great president.

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead!

They killed Saddam in the Emerald City before the dawn and the munchkins are still going at it hammer and tongs. Bombs and bodies everywhere. The acrimony on the gallows between Saddam and his executioners proves that Iraq is dead pool of hatred and tribalism. And now Bush wants to mount a "surge" in Baghdad?

How do you make sausages? By pumping meat into the grinder. But who will mop up the blood? The tears?

Thank god my boy is getting his Canadian passport.

Authenticity vs. Sincerity

The Godfather of Soul is dead. Hard to believe but there you have it. As John D. MacDonald wrote, the sandbar starts to get pretty narrow. Egads! Just look at what we're left with!

Will Brown be remembered only for his music? I hope not. His music belonged to the now yet his vibe echoed loudly into Afro-Futurism. Brown gave no less than Miles Davis, the ultimate space brotha, new energy and new direction coming out of the sixties. Bootsy Collins tutored under Brown for years and brought his learning to bear on George Clinton and his myriad of funk satellites.

Brown was a man who didn't just preach civil rights; he lived it. He was a black man self-made in America and he was mindful of his life every day and every night. Brown was authentic because he lived free on his own terms. And in living that life, he inspired millions.

This morning, the great Orlando Patterson, in a NY Times guest column that should be made permanent, discusses the difference between the quixotic quest for authenticity in the United States and the dearth of sincerity in public life. Patterson notes that people who go looking for "authenticity" often end in deep doo doo. Stephen Colbert calls the same thing "truthiness" - feeling over reason, no matter what. That's why Bush is in the White House and fans of James Frey have yet to abandon him. Their stories just seem "right".

Patterson though was discussing how people deal with bigotry in America. If, as he suggests, we're all bigots deep inside, then we have to figure out how to behave in public. Patterson is what can only be called an existential sociologist; he believes people are responsible for their life and we need to study how people make choices in life. He quotes Shakespeare to put forth a dramaturgical model of life: "All the world's a stage." If you act civil, you will be civil, no matter what you're thinking. Everyone takes on roles everyday which require different kinds of face paint. Rather than trying to find some sort of simple, unified, true identity (cue the psychoanalysts) that is static no matter what, Patterson suggests we make and re-make ourselves in the artful and tasteful navigation of the complexity of life in a modern society. Find the fat repulsive? Think Blacks are vulgar? Keep your thoughts to yourself and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If the action is sincere, that's enough.

This to me is where the next Civil Rights movement, if it's going to happen, has to begin.

Post Christian Christmas

After I got tired of watching yet another special year-end wrapup on "Countdown", I flicked the dial to Fox where Billy-O was once again carrying on about how Christmas is under siege and what the devil can be done about it.

Lordamercy. Perhaps I'm being overly optimistic but I'm hoping that this past election not only put paid to Bush's wet (with blood) dream of spreading democracy through the Middle East but has given pause to the Christian fundamentalists who thought they were going ride on Karl Rove's coat-tails all the way to a hundred year scolding of America's mores or lack thereof. Christmas is a lightening rod for their project and it seems that this year, in comparison to last, the tempest really is in a teapot.

I keep reading stories that many people, including students, are becoming more religious but they are less interested in questioning their religion. Erich Fromm noted that man finds all kinds of escapes from freedom and as the world reveals itself to be more and more maddeningly complex and absurd, sanctuary is hard to find. I'm sure more than a few of the leaders of the Christian right wished the judge in the Dover "Intelligence Design" trial had merely issued a quick and dirty yea or nay rather than a 100+ page document that puts the wood to Intelligent Design and Creationism. Those are their hole cards and they can't afford any more public ridicule. And, if a recent NYTimes story is to believed, a whopping 90% of teenagers who grow up in fundamentalist Christian homes turn away from the religion.

At the same time, I can hardly say that I am enthusiastic about evangelical atheists like Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris and, (of course with us mired in a savage civil war that is eating our soldiers alive), Mr. Amputee.

The most exciting news of the past year is that students in Tehran are once again rebelling, this time against the mullahs. Indeed, was the original Iranian Revolution really for a theocratic state (and a cult of personality) or against a corrupt secular one? Tehran 2006 is awash in junkies and whores and grifters and various other kinds of malcontents who are testament to the elemental fact that theocracy and the human animal are incompatible. People need room to think, to doubt, to live, to get it on and to have a job where they can nurse their hangover.

What do I care though? I'm an existentialist who drifted into Hinduism, perhaps the least doctrinaire of all the major religions. But I am also a father and I wonder how I will convey my cosmology to my son without closing his mind and his heart to other paths. People are closing down at the very moment history demands we open up.

Dog Day Dream

Do you ever get lonely for something you know you can't have? I do.

The other night, the missus and me were canoodling on the couch and musing on how nice it would be to have a dog. Alas, all three of us are highly allergic to dust and dander. Popping Sudafed all day every day is not an option. A pooch will not hunt in our house.

One can dream. This clip from Chris Marker's film, Sans Soleil, illustrates beautifully why dogs are so great to have around.You take them to the beach and they frolick in the surf while you stroll. Easy living.

Every year, I teach at least one American lit survey course. Death in the Woods by Sherwood Anderson is a classic story about...what? An old lady who lived a hard life? No, it's about the wonder of dogs and their connection to us. As the old girl lies dying in the snow, the dogs engage in a primal dance in the moonlight, calling her out of her slumber to keep them from returning to the wolf of their ancestors. After she dies, the dogs take the food she's carried on her back and leave her in the snow. They don't mean anything by it.

I hope that medicine cooks up something real good for those of us who want a dog but our sinuses won't allow it.